EN COLÈRE

Today I planned on going out to Cafés to meet people. Right now I am in a café and I am EN COLÈRE (MAD)! It is 19h18 (7:19pm) and I just discovered that the internet at my apartment has stopped working. The Grousiers came back to town about two hours ago, so I went to ask Yves if he knew what I should do. I kid you not, the kid told me that I would just have to wait a while and see what happens! I’m going to lose it! He basically told me, “too bad!” Just for the record, that is a common French response to any problems you may have! One can never expect things to be the way they are in Texas! And you can take that to the bank!

Today is NOT over; however, I am forced to post early because waiting might NOT solve the problem YVES! Let me just say that my anger is simply from the fact that I was born in the United States of America. Think about the last problem you had with technology or something pertaining to the general public. What was your reaction? Were you so enraged that you couldn’t see straight? (Some random French people are staring at me!) If you said no, consider this: you’re in your house in the middle of a burning hot summer and the air conditioner stops working. Are you mad yet? Some of you might be mad just thinking about that! If so, it’s probably because you’re an American. If you reading this and you’re from another country, please bare with me for a moment! In the United States we have everything we need any time we want it! Walmart™ is open all night; McDonalds™ will have your food ready within ten minutes or less; pizza companies advertise how quick they can bring you your pizza; and Starbucks™ would never build a location where they couldn’t have a drive-up window. In France drive-up windows are foreign. (These French people are still staring at me!) We are spoiled! When the internet doesn’t work, we call the internet company and they had better be there ASAP or we’re taking our business elsewhere! My family here in France has a dishwasher, but it hasn’t worked since well before I arrived. Do you know what their solution is? Wash the dishes in the sink! (Scary music…woman screaming!) They don’t even have a microwave! Mom, Dad and Carter would die! When there’s a problem, oh well! Have a cigarette! C’est la vie! (That’s life!) Your problems don’t exist in France (according to the French). Americans have a very real since of urgency when something goes wrong. When we “need” something and it isn’t there, we freak out! That’s what I did! After I spoke with Yves I sat in my room and yelled out English profanities for a solid fifteen minutes. He probably thought that I was having a case of Turrets Syndrome! (I’m going to throw a spoon at this French girl if she doesn’t stop staring at me! This may be where a riot is started Meredith!) I decided to go downstairs to call my friend and see if he knew where an internet café is located. When I got on the phone, I can assure you that my tone of voice made it very clear to the family how I was feeling! I hate speaking English in front of people when they can’t understand, but this time it was too bad! Sorry Yves! I just had to leave!

I took my computer and went into Centre Ville to buy a phone card and call my mom from a pay phone. Mom, I’m sorry if this upsets you, but when she answered, I started to cry a little bit. As a guy it’s hard to admit that, but in this case it might help you understand how I was feeling! For the past four weeks I have been able to keep in touch with my friends and family in the USA, but now I feel stuck! I was blessed to find this café that has internet access for free! Even though I’m so mad that I can’t see straight, I am still being watched over by God.

To go from the excitement of meeting new French people, to being treated like dirt by those French people, to not having the means to communicate with my loved ones, to being here in a café being stared at by random French people is hard! Like I said, this might be the point at which I start a riot! I’ve been here for over a month and I still don’t have a solid relationship with anyone in this country. Some of you think that I’ve been whining and that I should just shut up and enjoy the fact that I’m in France; however, this isn’t a vacation! I didn’t come here to see the country side or to climb the Eiffel Tower. I did those things five years ago. This time is for real. This time has to count. Every day is another chance to change my life. I will refuse to let these four and a half months be in vain. Today is the first day of the rest of this séjour. Today will either be a good day or a bad day. Should I discover that I’ve been wasting my time here, I will see you all again in June and will never look back! I pray that this doesn’t happen. I pray that something phenomenal will occur! I pray that when I come back to the States that you won’t recognize me because I’ve been so changed! I want to use French words on accident! Just now I accidentally spelled out June like Juin (June in French). I want that to happen all of the time! I want this language and culture to infiltrate my mind. I can eat a baguette with Nutella™ in the United States. I can only be stared at by a random group of French people in a French café in France! Something needs to happen!