EN COLÈRE

Today I planned on going out to Cafés to meet people. Right now I am in a café and I am EN COLÈRE (MAD)! It is 19h18 (7:19pm) and I just discovered that the internet at my apartment has stopped working. The Grousiers came back to town about two hours ago, so I went to ask Yves if he knew what I should do. I kid you not, the kid told me that I would just have to wait a while and see what happens! I’m going to lose it! He basically told me, “too bad!” Just for the record, that is a common French response to any problems you may have! One can never expect things to be the way they are in Texas! And you can take that to the bank!

Today is NOT over; however, I am forced to post early because waiting might NOT solve the problem YVES! Let me just say that my anger is simply from the fact that I was born in the United States of America. Think about the last problem you had with technology or something pertaining to the general public. What was your reaction? Were you so enraged that you couldn’t see straight? (Some random French people are staring at me!) If you said no, consider this: you’re in your house in the middle of a burning hot summer and the air conditioner stops working. Are you mad yet? Some of you might be mad just thinking about that! If so, it’s probably because you’re an American. If you reading this and you’re from another country, please bare with me for a moment! In the United States we have everything we need any time we want it! Walmart™ is open all night; McDonalds™ will have your food ready within ten minutes or less; pizza companies advertise how quick they can bring you your pizza; and Starbucks™ would never build a location where they couldn’t have a drive-up window. In France drive-up windows are foreign. (These French people are still staring at me!) We are spoiled! When the internet doesn’t work, we call the internet company and they had better be there ASAP or we’re taking our business elsewhere! My family here in France has a dishwasher, but it hasn’t worked since well before I arrived. Do you know what their solution is? Wash the dishes in the sink! (Scary music…woman screaming!) They don’t even have a microwave! Mom, Dad and Carter would die! When there’s a problem, oh well! Have a cigarette! C’est la vie! (That’s life!) Your problems don’t exist in France (according to the French). Americans have a very real since of urgency when something goes wrong. When we “need” something and it isn’t there, we freak out! That’s what I did! After I spoke with Yves I sat in my room and yelled out English profanities for a solid fifteen minutes. He probably thought that I was having a case of Turrets Syndrome! (I’m going to throw a spoon at this French girl if she doesn’t stop staring at me! This may be where a riot is started Meredith!) I decided to go downstairs to call my friend and see if he knew where an internet café is located. When I got on the phone, I can assure you that my tone of voice made it very clear to the family how I was feeling! I hate speaking English in front of people when they can’t understand, but this time it was too bad! Sorry Yves! I just had to leave!

I took my computer and went into Centre Ville to buy a phone card and call my mom from a pay phone. Mom, I’m sorry if this upsets you, but when she answered, I started to cry a little bit. As a guy it’s hard to admit that, but in this case it might help you understand how I was feeling! For the past four weeks I have been able to keep in touch with my friends and family in the USA, but now I feel stuck! I was blessed to find this café that has internet access for free! Even though I’m so mad that I can’t see straight, I am still being watched over by God.

To go from the excitement of meeting new French people, to being treated like dirt by those French people, to not having the means to communicate with my loved ones, to being here in a café being stared at by random French people is hard! Like I said, this might be the point at which I start a riot! I’ve been here for over a month and I still don’t have a solid relationship with anyone in this country. Some of you think that I’ve been whining and that I should just shut up and enjoy the fact that I’m in France; however, this isn’t a vacation! I didn’t come here to see the country side or to climb the Eiffel Tower. I did those things five years ago. This time is for real. This time has to count. Every day is another chance to change my life. I will refuse to let these four and a half months be in vain. Today is the first day of the rest of this séjour. Today will either be a good day or a bad day. Should I discover that I’ve been wasting my time here, I will see you all again in June and will never look back! I pray that this doesn’t happen. I pray that something phenomenal will occur! I pray that when I come back to the States that you won’t recognize me because I’ve been so changed! I want to use French words on accident! Just now I accidentally spelled out June like Juin (June in French). I want that to happen all of the time! I want this language and culture to infiltrate my mind. I can eat a baguette with Nutella™ in the United States. I can only be stared at by a random group of French people in a French café in France! Something needs to happen!

Vendredi

Today I was Lazy with a capital “L”! My one Friday class was cancelled, so I slept until 15h30 (3:00pm)! I was VERY tired! When I finally got up I went to buy some bread to go with my Nutella™! Let’s take a moment! If you are in the United States right now, please understand that YOU CAN buy Nutella™ there! It is sold at Target™ and Walgreens™. As soon as you get finished reading this post, if it’s not too late, go to one of these stores and buy some! It will change your life! You must eat it on a baguette (French bread) or on a croissant! If you’re trying to lose weight, forget it! Nutella™ is where it’s at!

I would also like to take another moment to give you a bit of a cultural lesson:

Milk: In France milk comes in a box and can be stored in the pantry until you open it. Apparently it is ultra sterilized and has a lot of aluminum in it that keeps it fresh as long as it is kept sealed.

Toilets: In France every toilet is flushed by pushing a button! Crazy!

Central Heating and Air: What? Who’s ever heard of that? Not the French! In France there is no such thing as air conditioning, and heating comes from wall heaters that are placed in every room, bathroom, kitchen, and hallway. Talk about clutter!

Old: You name it, it’s old! Almost all of the buildings here were built over one hundred years ago!

Cars: I don’t worry about dying by being hit by a car. I worry about hurting the car should it run into me. Did you every play with matchbox cars or know of people that played with matchbox cars? In France matchbox cars aren’t toys; they’re actual cars!

Car lots: Think of what you would picture a car lot looking like in France. Is it similar to the United States? If so, you’re wrong. There is a car lot near the apartment that is completely inside! There’s a show room with a giant garage in the back for all of the cars. Above the garage there are very nice apartments. Talk about saving space!

Sales: It’s time to go to town! JC Penny’s is having a sale! Not in France! In France sales are only twice a year. When I got here they were having a sale for the end of winter. Now the prices are back to normal and won’t be reduced until August! Put your scissors away! There are no coupons in the paper this week!

Scissors: Haircuts here are asinine! For a guy to get his hair cut, he must pay €18! That’s $27.314! For no more hair than I have, I may as well use a knife!

Politics: Topic of discussion nine times out of ten! You’re from Texas?!?! Do you like George Bush? Do you want Obama or Hillary to win the election? Can you say rude? Not to French people! It’s ruder to ask a French person whether or not they have any siblings than it is to ask them for which political party they vote. Every time they ask me this question I want to say that it’s none of their business, but it’s truly just part of their culture!

After I bought my bread and had breakfast at lunch time, I went to the gym. I then went back home and had a sandwich for dinner. It wasn’t an American sandwich. It was a big sandwich with baguette, lettuce, gruyere cheese, ham, and butter. It was very good! I then went to church and enjoyed some very nice fellowship in French! On my way back to the tram from the church I walked with my friend Carlie from England. She speaks French very well, so we spoke French the entire time. When I got back home I finished off the baguette with some Nutella™.

Tomorrow I will be going back to the cafés to meet people again! Keep praying!

Gouttes de Pluie

Raindrops keep falling on my head. Just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed; nothing seems to fit. Those raindrops keep falling on my head; they keep falling.

Tonight I went out with Rachel to meet our new French friends at O’Donnell’s. We were very excited and I was very nervous! When we first got there we thought that we had been stood up because we couldn’t find our friends. When we decided to look outside, we finally found one of the girls. She welcomed us and introduced us to her other friends. She then took us inside and we sat at the back of the bar with tons of others. At one point it was just me sitting with eight French girls. It was crazy! I looked for my new friend Julia, but she didn’t come until later. When she finally came she was with her friend Tibo. At first I thought that Tibo might be her boyfriend, but it became obvious quickly that he and I don’t bat for the same team if you know what I mean. Tibo was probably more interested in me than he was in her.

After a while I asked, just for kicks and giggles, our friend Emmanuel if Julia and Tibo were dating. This turned out to be a riot. Everyone started laughing. Emmanuel told me that they were just friends and that Julia was single. She then asked me if I was seeing anyone in the United States. I told her that I wasn’t and then she asked me if I worked out. This was a bit weird, but I went ahead and responded. She then said to Julia, “Hey! Look at him! He works out!” This, again, was weird. I think this scared her away. For the rest of the night Julia spent her time running away from my presence. I didn’t even say anything!

I finally went into a room full of people where everyone was dancing. Rachel was there, so we decided to join in. We started jumping and swaying and singing. It was fun…for about ten minutes. We finally got too hot and went outside to chill down. I then asked Rachel why she thought Julia was being so distant. She just told me that it wasn’t worth my time and that I should just try to have fun no matter what. She was right, but we didn’t end up having fun after that. Linden had come earlier in the night, so the three of us walked around and tried to have conversations with these people in a very noisy environment. I went to talk to the other girls in the group we were with, but they seemed to be having a bad time. It was very discouraging. Out of all of them, Julia was the one with such a cold shoulder. She wouldn’t even look at me. I don’t know what her problem was, but (allow me to be slightly conceited) she missed out! If she wants to sit on a bar stool and ignore someone who hasn’t even done anything to her, may she be content in knowing that she ruined her own night. If she was playing hard to get, she lost! As we would say in the USA, bye-bye!

With all that being said, tomorrow is a new day! Cafés here I come! I’m never gonna stop the rain by complaining; because I’m free! Nothing’s worrying me!

Il Faut Faire un Effort!

Today I saw a little girl crying with all of her might. She was walking across campus with her mother, but not once did she try to break away. She was sad, but never did she let go of the hand that was protecting her. Not once did her mother try to scold her. They were simply walking hand in hand. This picture is very similar to my current walk with God through this country. If you read yesterday’s post, you know that I was crying out. You know that I felt as if I was headed to my demise; however, I never let go! I never allowed myself to be free of the one who guides me all along! Listen to what happened today!

All day I couldn’t stop thinking about what Hervé was saying to me last night! He kept encouraging me to put myself out there and make a real effort to meet the French people! In so many words he was saying, “You have to be intentional!” (Thank you Sharia Hays!) Today I had to be intentional. Today I had to step up and try to discover my purpose in France!

After my morning class I ate lunch with my friend Marie and my friend from Norway (Julia). For some reason Marie decided that our entire lunch conversation would be in French no matter how hard it may be. It was very successful! Not one English word polluted our conversation (Ok, maybe just one)! It was finally like a breath of fresh air! After lunch I decided to take Hervé’s advice and try to make an effort to meet French people. I went to the café on campus and ordered a café au lait. As I was sitting just waiting for something to happen, I wrote a prayer down in my notebook. At the end of the prayer I wrote, “I can’t leave this café without meeting someone!” I left the café without meeting someone, but refused to leave the vicinity until absolutely necessary. I therefore sat down on the steps in front of the café and waited once again. Eventually someone approached me and asked me for a lighter. I didn’t have one, but did end up meeting a guy named Julian. He was nice, but our conversation was very anticlimactic. I asked him what good things there were for students to do in Caen and he listed off everything I already knew. He also told me that if I wanted to meet French people that “Il faut faire un effort!” (It is necessary to make an effort). This was the same thing Hervé was telling me last night! As I said goodbye I thanked the Lord, but definitely asked him for another opportunity.

After my afternoon class I decided to go into town to a local café to try again. I ordered another café au lait, sat next to a couple of people that looked my age, and asked them if they were students. They said, “Non.” (No). I then asked them if they were citizens of Caen. They said, “Oui.” (Yes), and that was the end of the conversation. I began to write another prayer in my notebook, but this one wasn’t as nice. I was VERY angry! Then I remembered, “Il faut faire un effort!” (It is necessary to make an effort). I got up from my seat at the café, walked down the street, and into another café.

When I got to the next café I ordered another café au lait and sat next to two girls. I listened to them speaking in hopes that I would be able to interject at some point. I waited and waited and waited. Finally there was a pause. I said, “Are you students here?” They responded! We talked for about an hour! It was great! Then they had to leave. No phone number; no reunion; just, “maybe we’ll see each other again!” I was happy, but wasn’t satisfied. As I looked up at the wall I noticed an advertisement for singles night every Wednesday. I called Rachel to talk to her about my frustrations and told her that I had become so desperate that I would be going to singles’ night later on in the evening. She decided that she wanted to go as well, but that we wouldn’t go together.

As I made dinner and waited for singles’ night to start I became very nervous! I have not been this nervous in France yet! It was crazy! I finally ate and prepared to walk into Centre Ville. On my way I got a call from Rachel saying that singles’ night looked like a flop but that the café down the road seemed promising. I was a bit relived as I DID NOT want to have to recount a story about meeting someone at singles’ night! When I got to Rachel we decided that we didn’t want to wonder into the places alone. We looked at the café that she thought would be promising and scoped out some other places as well. We were lost! We didn’t know where to start! Finally I asked that we just stop and pray that God would show us where to go. After praying, Rachel recommended that we go to the bar next to campus. I agreed and we started walking in that direction. On our way there we stopped and decided that the bar next to campus would be too far for the effort. Just as we were standing in the middle of the road looking like lost puppies, I noticed a group of three girls walking in our direction. I then said to Rachel, “I have an idea!” When the girls got close enough I asked them if they knew of any good places for students to hang out. I also told them that we were new students and that we wanted to meet other students. One of the girls then said, “We are students!” Rachel became so overwhelmed she couldn’t find the words to say. Finally she said, “Can we come with you?” They were very much obliged! We then joined these three girls as the Café Latin and I ordered a decaffeinated café. I could not stand any more caffeine! I had well reached my limit for the day!

I ended up sitting across from a girl named Julia who talked to me the entire time! She is fluent in English, but chose only to speak in French! This made me VERY happy! Rachel talked with the other two girls while Julia and I went to town! After an hour and a half of great conversation, the two other girls decided that it was time to leave. Before leaving they invited Rachel and I to go out with them again tomorrow night! AMEN! When the waiter brought the bill, I did something VERY stupid! I could have died on the spot! I told the girls that they were an answer to prayer and that I would therefore pick up the tab; apparently this isn’t a popular thing to do in France! Julia explained to me that it is very traditional for girls to pay for themselves. I just about cried! My one chance to meet French girls and I pull out the southern hospitality! Mom, why didn’t you tell me that chivalry was only applicable to Texas women? Rachel said that it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be and that they were just saying that because they didn’t want me to have to pay. I hope she’s right, because these were the first non-drunk group of French friends I’ve made! Please pray that something will become of these relationships and that tomorrow night will be a BIG blessing! PLEASE!

Les Larmes

Four months! Three months! Two months! One month! One week! One day! One hour! Happy New Year? Not so much! This is the clock inside of my head that consistently warns me that my time in France is VERY short! I have already been here for a month and have yet to solidify my life here. I have searched high and low for French people with whom I might experience life, but have yet to establish any sort of relationship. I feel as if I’m being impatient, but with only three months left, it’s like I’m drowning in an hourglass. The sand keeps on pouring; and when it’s done, it’s done! That’s it! No return! No regrets! Nothing! I must take what I have, pack it away, and go home. These experiences are great, but are they paramount? Why am I here? I spend hours each day talking with friends, laughing, joking, and learning; in English. In English I think, in English I speak, and in English I pray. If you would, for one minute, imagine yourself as a child. You are waiting in line at the greatest theme park in the world. It’s sort of hot outside, but your worries are gone. You’re ready to play! You’re ready for what seems to be the greatest experience you will ever have in your entire life! You and your family are only one family away from gaining entrance into the park. Thunder! Darkness! Rain!

For seven years I have dreamed of being in France and living amongst French people. Today I am in France, living amongst French people, but not is all as it seems. I am angry! I don’t want to go home, but I don’t want to be here. That is to say, I don’t want to be in this situation. I don’t want to be an English thinker, speaker, and prayer in France! I want to learn French! I-LOVE-FRANCE! But what is France to someone who lives in America while living in France? What is France to someone who only understands French when spoken to slowly? That isn’t France! That is French 1401 at Baylor University. Entry levels are necessary, but one would never teach a runner how to walk! One would never show an actor how to cry. Laisses-tomber! (Leave it alone!)

Today I woke up at 7h00 to get dressed and buy bred. When I went to the boulangerie I realized that I had left my money at home. I asked the lady if she took debit cards, but she told me no and pointed to an ATM across the street. I was already not in the mood to deal with a bad morning; however, when I got the ATM, my card wouldn’t work. Stupid me, I finally realized that I put the money in the small pocket of my jeans. I went back to the boulangerie and purchased the bread. It was hard. I think I made the lady mad for some reason. She had to have given me the hardest bread I have ever eaten! I get the feeling that she isn’t too fond of Americans. I’m sorry! It’s not my fault that my parents birthed me in the USA! Please allow me to denounce my nationality (or go home)! I was not happy!

When I went to school I gave a presentation on Religion in France amongst young people. It went very well as it sparked an hour conversation about religion. It was useful, but not truly French. International students speaking French does not qualify as a true French experience. I can hardly understand what any of the students are saying.

At lunch I ate with a group of girls from Wisconsin. They were very sweet, but they spoke English.

Tonight my friends from Baylor came over and Andrew made us all the most amazing hamburgers I have ever had in my entire life! They were paramount! Our conversations were in English. Later on, one of Andrew’s friends from school (French) came over. His name is Hervé and he speaks English very well! That made the conversations easy, but they were in English. Hervé spent last semester studying at Texas A&M University in College Station (Don’t get too excited Meredith). He was very encouraging about meeting French people. He told me (sometimes in French) that he felt the same way when he was in Texas. He understands how hard it is for foreigners to make friends in another country when they group together. He gave me some tips on how to meet other French people, and he got my phone number to call me some time in the future (that could be a long time from now). I will try to take his advice and see if I can’t make some lasting relationships within the next day or two. Please continue to pray!

Caen Encore!

Tout va bien! (Everything is alright!) I can imagine that some of you (mom) are about to kill me! I am sorry that I didn’t post on Sunday night like I promised! When I got home, I realized that I had let my friend Marie barrow my adapter; therefore, I could not use my computer. However, fear not! I am alive!
Paris was great! You might go ahead and read the posts before this one to see what all happened.

Today I woke up at 6h00 to go and purchase bread. Now that I am alone in the house, I have to buy the bread every morning if I want breakfast. When I got to the bakery, they were still closed! I was very mad as I thought that French people woke up at 4h00 to make bread! This isn’t so! I went back home, slept some more, and woke up at 7h09 to go back and buy the bread. They were open this time!

I made it to school on time for my very boring writing class. I seriously fell asleep with the professor looking straight at me! It was alright everyone else was doing the same. After class I had lunch with Marie (USA), Min (China), Min’s friend (China), Amanda (USA), Helena (Finland), and Helena’s friend (Finland). Everyone spoke English because it was easiest. English is making me sick! That’s not why I came here! Marie looked at me during lunch and said, “I am praying that you find someone here in France to marry because you truly love this country!” That was very thoughtful of her! She made me feel much better about speaking English for a few minutes.


After lunch we had an oral test. It wasn’t too bad (I don’t think). I then headed home and ran into one of my new French friends near the tram stop. He was very nice and came up to say hi. I was so excited to talk French again! I then went home to take a nap. I was SO tired from this morning’s writing class!

Tonight we had steak for dinner. By “we” I mean me, myself, and I. Because it was up to me to make dinner, I decided we would go for the protein for a change! The company wasn’t that interesting, but the food was good! I ended up opening a window and listening to the cars pass by as I ate. It was boring. I then went up to my room to do some homework and write this blog. Here I am. It’s now 00h09 (12:09am) and I must go to sleep so that I don’t fall asleep in class again! Goodnight!

Paris Encore! III

Today we woke up and went into Paris for food. Andrew, Jonathan, Marie, and I ate at a Gyro place while Linden and Rachel went to see the Eiffel Tower. I would have gone with them, but I’ve already seen it twice. After we ate, Andrew and I went to check out Saint Chappell while Jonathan and Marie went to the train station to head back early. Saint Chappell is one of the most beautiful churches in the world! It is even prettier than Notre Dame! We then left Saint Chappell in search for a restroom and luckily found one. We weren’t as luck as we thought! The men’s restroom didn’t have any toilet paper, so we snuck into the women’s restroom before anyone saw us! As soon as we got into our own stalls we noticed that the women’s restroom didn’t have any toilet paper either! We were about to leave, but a group of women came in at just the wrong time. We had to hide in our stalls until the left. Luckily they didn’t see or hear us! It was close! We then found a secret passage from the restroom to the plumbing room and decided to explore. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but we looked around anyway.

After our restroom escapade, we went to see La Tour de Saint Jacques and Hôtel de Ville. We took some photos and then decided to check out Place Pompidou. This is a modern art museum that has to be the most amazing museum I have ever seen in my life! Don't be surprised if some of the next photos are of the art exhibits here! Andrew and I spent three hours in there just wondering around. By the time I was done I just about fell asleep on the floor! When we finished at the museum, it was about time to leave to return to Caen. We found Rachel and Linen, ate dinner, and decided to sit outside of Pompidou to eat a baguette with Nutella™ before we needed to get on the Metro. We lost track of time and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves before we realized it was time to leave! When we notice what time it was, we hurried to the Metro only to realize that our tickets weren’t working. We were panicked, but waited for a group of guys to come trough so that we could jump the turn stile. This is not legal, but we were desperate and there was no place near to purchase tickets. As we ran through the Metro I told everyone that no matter what, they aren’t to speak French. This is in case the Metro police find us and ask for our tickets. We were going to have to pull the stupid American card. When we finally made it to the train station, we got on the train with minutes to spare! We were very lucky!

Paris Encore! II

Today we woke up and went to a local “mall” that had a super market and bakery. There we ate breakfast for very cheap! I bought a jar of Nutella™, a litre of Orangina™, a croissante, and a baguette for all fewer than six Euros! You can bet that I ate every bit of it! It was amazing! After that we went into Paris and saw the Louvre! This was the second time for me to ever see the Louvre! I took a lot of photos! I tried to call the Baylor regents, but their phones were working! I was sad! After the Louvre, Andrew, Jonathan, Marie, and I all went to the Tullieries Garden for café while Linden and Rachel went to meet one of Rachel’s father’s friends. After that Marie and I went to find her some post cards and ended up going to Montmartre for her to get her portrait drawn by one of the artists.

After Montmartre we decided to divide into two groups for dinner. One group, the cheap group, went for pizza and Panini. The other group, the not very cheap group, went for a nice Parisian meal. I’m glad I saved my money! We then went back to the hotel in the middle of nowhere and called it a night.

Paris Encore! I

As I write this post, I am sitting in a hostel in Paris where there is no internet access. I would love to post this post right away, but I’m afraid that by the time you read it today will already be three days old. I’m sorry about that!

Today I wondered whether or not I would actually be going to Paris. When I woke up, I received a call from Rachel telling me that the train tickets were going to be over €60! I knew that wasn’t going to work, but Rachel and Linden found a solution. They discovered that if we buy a student card for SNCF (French National Rail Society), our tickets would be 50% – 60% off every time we decided to travel in France. I went ahead and got the card and my train ticket for very cheap! My friend Marie from UNT decided to come with us as well.

When I took the train to Paris, it was just Andrew, Linden, Marie, and I because Rachel and Jonathan had to leave at a later time due to their classes. When we arrived in Paris, a random French man greeted us on the metro. He was very excited to see us for some reason (zoo exhibit). He started announcing to the entire metro that we were American and then proceeded to tell us how beautiful the French women are and how ugly the English women are. At one point he looked at a couple of girls and said, “Excuse me, are you French?” At which on of the girls said, “No, I’m English.” She was just kidding as she was actually Swiss. It was weird, but fun at the same time. We then decided to go to Montmartre to see the artists. The weather was great. We then went down to Place de la Concorde where we eventually met up with Rachel and Jonathan. This was when Rachel announced to us that our hostel wasn’t actually in Paris.

When we went to the metro to find out the best route to our hostel in the suburbs, we ended up having to communicate with a man through a glass window. This was a bit of a challenge. He told us how to get to the suburb we needed, and we bought the right tickets to get us there. We then went to eat at a not so great, but not bad restaurant. Then we found our train, headed to the hostel, and here we are. There are funny sounds next door!