I once heard an actor in a sitcom say, "If you love someone, you have to let them go!" It was a sitcom; therefore, there had to be a comical line to follow: "I love you...GO!" I believe that when I first heard this "put down" I was in elementary school and thought it would be a fun line to use on my friends. They didn't think it was as funny as I did. Oh well! I eventually got over it and found a few funnier and more insulting lines from my primetime nick-at-nite™ friends. Nonetheless, this idea of letting someone go was a concept that never left my mind.As I flushed my last campus commode (in the Bill and Eva Williams Bear Habitat), I realized that it was really happening. As soon as I wash my hands and walk out of the door, I will be saying goodbye to people and Baylor indefinitely. No promises to be made about future appearances and no expectations to be held of such appearances. I had graduated and would be saying goodbye. Naturally, as I waved to my friends John and Reese, I said the ritual, "See you later!" It was a promise in which no definite hopes should be placed. I understand that I am never promised to see a person again when I say "See you later!", but it's a phrase that allows me to sleep at night. Before saying "See you later!" for the last time, Reese asked me "Will you ever see us again?" to which I replied, "Every day in my head!" It was a bit of a movie moment during which John escaped before it became too real. I watched John drive away in his "I Support the Troops" red truck and tried not to be too emotionally overtaken. I said my parting words to Reese as I hopped in my vehicle and eventually shut the door. I made a special effort to drive past Pat Neff Hall and as soon as I did, the tears began to flow.
There is something about Pat Neff Hall that seems to embody the spirit of what Baylor means to me. In our school song, one of the lines reads, "We'll fling our Green and Gold afar to light the ways of time". These two colors are always represented by the snow white tower capped with a golden bourret that lights the Waco night sky. Even in the seasons when a Baylor loss in football or basketball must be bared with the white lights that hide the victorious Green shone upon the tower, the tip of the tower can never hide her true colors. These two colors are the colors of the blood that flows through the heart of the campus and into the hands and feet of the many Baylor Bears that trod upon the four corners of the earth. The tower sings throughout the day to remind us of the angelic music that calms all hearts when times of hardship must be faced. This music brings tears to our eyes because we understand that there is someone greater than us who will never leave our sides nor to whom we will ever have to say "See you later!" for the last time. Pat Neff Hall is not the oldest building on campus, but like all Baylor Bears, she joined the Baylor family in the middle of Baylor history, only to become a landmark.
As I looked upon this tower one last time, the song Chariot by Gavin Degraw plays from a CD given to me by my friend Amber. It's a bitter sweet moment. I reach the last set of columns that represent the Baylor Heritage in Independence, TX and begin to cry with an unbearable feeling of sadness. It was one of those feelings that remind you that there is nothing you can do to change this. I decided to send a message to Dub Oliver to say goodbye. He responded with a heartfelt message that didn't help to remedy the flow of tears. I-35N would be my route and Amarillo would be my destiny (for the next three months that is).
I now sit here in Amarillo waiting for a summer job to support me until my time comes to once again fling my Green and Gold afar in the land that is so dear to my heart - La France!
